That Green Bitch
By Loch Baillie
Hello everyone. Genuine question, how is everyone doing?
Over here, I just found out that I am not well. It’s a shocker. Wow. (That’s sarcasm btw). But turns out I am doing worse than I thought. And that’s ok. I am in a place of privilege with access to resources and mental health care. I am getting back on antidepressants & antipsychotics. It’s been a long time coming. But why am I telling y’all? I guess it took me so long to admit I was unwell because “I’ve been worse”. My neurodivergent ass couldn’t comprehend that just because it’s not as bad as it has once been it doesn’t mean it isn’t actually bad. (Insert that “Can a depressed person do THIS?” Meme). I am telling y’all this because maybe if someone had asked me how I REALLY was... well, I would have probably still denied it. But it might have made me start thinking about it sooner.
Ok, I swear I am done stealing Loch’s spotlight and I am about to introduce this piece. I swear it’s connected ok. Loch was in our New Year’s workshop way back in — you will never guess — the new year. We had a great time writing poems with him back then and we were so happy to see his name pop up again in our open call subs. Opening his incredible poem felt like a gift from a new friend; it told us so much about who he is. We were so thrilled to accept his piece (I mean, how could we possibly reject references to queer parties, heartache, and Zac Efron). By then seven months had elapsed between that New Year workshop and reading his work. So much had happened. I was probably already depressed.
Now, we find ourselves even further away down this difficult timeline, and I find myself further down. However! And! This! Is! The! Magic! Of! Community! I smiled today. I smiled today when I realized that I would have the privilege of writing an intro for this piece. I smiled today when I realized how, despite never having met Loch, never having met most of you reading this, we have been connected through this project, through poetry, through shared joy and grief. I smiled today, it’s been a while. The world is a hardening place, I am reminded of my softness when your names start to become familiar, in emails and instagram notifications and likes and comments. It makes it easier to want to carry on.
It is good to remember that we are all connected. The world is a hardening place, and y’all help me try to be a softer part of it, and to steal Loch’s words, “honestly, what more could we have asked for in a place like that?”
P.S. Keep reading for a cool workshop announcement!
That Green Bitch
We’re guzzling double G&Ts from single-serve glasses, neon quinine not masking the taste of Beefeater or the bad karaoke We’re whispering in our accents about the kids doing ket on the moss-stoned path behind Hawthorns Hall and Cherry Tree Walk (literally) And I tell you about the bleach-blond twink who came up to me in his diaphanous Sistine Chapel ceiling bodysuit and said straight to my face You’re That Green Bitch and I didn’t know what to say so I forced my way into a circle of chainsmokers and lied about something, said tell me again about America tell me another joke about mass shootings and I don’t know, I think I would’ve had a better time if I hadn’t spent all that time watching my laundry spin endlessly in those card-operated machines in the card-operated building set apart from my room where I listened to French podcasts not to lose it and scrubbed vomit out of the carpet with dish detergent or Fairy Liquid or whatever the fuck that person called it in the kitchen that was never clean and I felt like a fool you know, trying to mail a Valentine’s Day card internationally inside it, I’d hid the King of Hearts that I’d stolen from the stairwell/common room guarded by Zac Efron’s naked torso and God sometimes I wish it hadn’t ended like that but honestly what was left and honestly what more could we have asked for in a place like that?
About the hot poet: Originally from Massachusetts, Loch Baillie (he/him) is a queer poet and writer based in Québec, Canada. He is the author of two poetry chapbooks: ice, dove, parachute (Cactus Press) and Citronella (Anstruther Press). His writing has additionally appeared in magazines such as Maclean’s, Font, Society Pages, and yolk literary. Loch is currently pursuing his MA in English literature at Laval University. You can find him online @lochbaillie or by visiting his website
ALSO! WANT MORE LOCH? You can find his chapbook here and follow his socials for exciting announcements coming soon!
Thank you Loch. Genuinely. Thank you for all the words.
ALSO ALSO! Friend of the sub
from is hosting a sick workshop and writing series! YOU SHOULD JOIN!✨ uncover your soft animal: a writing workshop series guided by Monika Rybińska ✨
Feeling the pre-holiday rush? Take a pause and reconnect with your creative spirit. Inspired by Mary Oliver’s Wild Geese, this 4-session online workshop will guide you to explore your unique writing voice in a supportive, no-pressure space.
📅 starts: December 1st, Sundays at 16:00 CET
⏳ duration: 2 hours per session (4 sessions total)
🎟 sliding scale: from €50
All levels welcome—from curious beginners to seasoned writers.
👉 sign up here: livinglanguagezywyjezyk@gmail.com
Let’s write, read, and rediscover together!
👩🏼💻about Monika: Monika Rybińska (she/her) is a visual artist, designer and poet, writing in Polish, English and German. She also translates from Hungarian and Italian. Her project living language / żywy język is about contemporary poetry, art and the creative process. Monika co-runs the art-and-poetry collective sroki złodziejki (thieving magpies), and organises poetry workshops and readings.
See you next week, I am committed to keeping it going (even if I really don’t want to cause depression)
-L
Iconic poem! Loved the visual of running into the circle of chain smokers 💨 actually… earlier this year I was in Albuquerque, where a woman on the street yelled at me “take off your green outfit you whore!!!” So honestly I relate 💚😂