Kelly’s response to the mundanity of being stuck in a lockdown in the Netherlands, & Larissa’s piece, “The only thing worse than having sex with your ex is having zoom sex with your ex”

okay so I’ve gotten into this phase lately where every single morning I wake up & I play Jewel’s Foolish Games (1995) because you were fashionably sensitive but too cool to care just hits different these days as I pull out the Tupperware from the dishwasher & chop a white onion for my morning ritual omelette at this point I’ve probably moved on to Tom’s Diner (1982) the unmixed unsampled acapella version as I crack the egg whites into the same bowl tossing the yolks back & forth between the half shells until they’re trashed this song reminds me of two things first rehearsing on the cold linoleum floors at the dance center because all I can ever remember clearly from childhood is the choreography it seems as I recount the steps while she’s turning to the horoscope & looking for the funnies what’s funny is I always thought the singer of this song was Dido for some reason but I’ve been mixing it up with Thank You (1999) all this time which was sampled on Eminem’s Stan (2000) where she stars as his pregnant girlfriend in that cinematic experience of a music video nine-year-old me was probably watching the same year I was dancing to Tom’s Diner (1982) the second thing that song reminds me of as I chop up the days-old arugula & let the smoked ham sizzle in the pan is the real Tom’s Restaurant on the Upper West Side where I had a chocolate milkshake before I got high for the first time in someone’s parent’s tub squished in there like sardines all of us probably snuck into The Abbey after & had whiskey sours as I fold the omelette inwards & smother it in hot sauce because I’m just a low-key sensual type like that yours truly your biggest fan this is Stan note to self did you know that the Gen Z term to “stan” someone literally comes from this song & that Pete Davidson was seven (seven!!) when that music video came out but he referenced it in an SNL sketch last year where his character writes to Santa it’s the funniest thing but also Bowen appears in it as Elton John who actually stood in for Dido at the Grammy’s in 2001 you should YouTube it it’s really the most random thing ever anyway I’ve realized as I pop the Nespresso pod into the machine that poetry is just dj-ing with text they’re both a means of scavenging & sampling & trying on different personas which is really just another form of planned obsolescence if you ask me as I sprinkle pumpkin spice into my coffee even though it’s not even autumn anymore I appreciate a little authentic irony (but not ironic authenticity) in my day so what pray tell might this be? a verbatim narration of the hoarding disorder in my head?

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🚨 Poetry Prompt Alert! 🚨

Hey besties - Did you enjoy that casual accident that came from omelette-making? Here’s a ritual you can try if you’re feeling a bit starved creatively or sexually or musically or whatever it may be, babe, we’re here 4 you:

1. ☀️ Wake up! Because gorgeous gorgeous girls get out of bed and start the day even when the seasonal depression is hitting hard.

2. 🎵 Turn on a song from your youth. Might I suggest “Blue (Da Ba Dee Da Ba Di)” or “Doctor Jones” by Aqua (what ever happened to them btw??).

3. 🍳 Start making your breakfast. I don’t care if it’s a fancy ass avo toast or a string cheese from the fridge. But as you’re doing this, think about what this song reminds you of. Dance a bit. Turn up the volume. Piss off the neighbors. Just let your mind FLOW.

4. 📱 This is where you get out the #1 poetry tool recommended by experts, the note pad feature on your phone. Start writing down everything as your eggs cook or whatever. Go full-on stream of conscious.

5. 💿 Your mind is the dj now. Go to the radio playlist for whichever song you picked first and queue up some more. Keep writing down whatever the music reminds you of, while also maybe adding some steps for how to make your breakfast.

6. 💬 Comment on this post with what you came up with!

7. 🔥 And don’t light the house on fire in the process.

Love you, bye 😚