Poetry Trapper Keeper

Poetry Trapper Keeper

Share this post

Poetry Trapper Keeper
Poetry Trapper Keeper
This is not a thrill
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
User's avatar
Discover more from Poetry Trapper Keeper
Poetry for hot people.
Over 1,000 subscribers
Already have an account? Sign in

This is not a thrill

🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼

Poetry Trapper Keeper's avatar
Larissa Fantini's avatar
Poetry Trapper Keeper
and
Larissa Fantini
Mar 27, 2024
8

Share this post

Poetry Trapper Keeper
Poetry Trapper Keeper
This is not a thrill
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
Share

Hello parasocial pals! Larissa here once again writing to you with sand between my toes and a sun I’m already forgetting setting before my eyes.

I’ve only been in two (unhappy) relationships in my life. After leaving the last one 4 years ago I resolved to do 2 things:

  1. I need to write about this as much as possible, while the feeling of heartbreak is fresh, and milk from it every last metaphor

  1. I need to be single for a very long time

I did both, with varying levels of success and satisfaction.

Because of resolution 1, I romanticized the shit out of that break up. Because of resolution 2, I dedicated myself to my platonic relationships. I thought eventually I would “”””HEAL”””” and be ready for a New Romantic Relationship™️ (or “WANT TO WANT TO DATE” as I’ve said in therapy too much and too often).

A month ago I found myself absentmindedly selecting Khadija Mbowe’s video on the state of modern dating as background noise for my shower (I have ADHD and crave 24h stimulation). I emerged from the shower sobbing as I realized they had put into words everything I had ever felt since I was a child. “I’m aromantic” they said in the video, and I realized “oh oh maybe this makes sense???”

Kelly asked if they are polyamorous or if they just like having friends. In response I have been asking, am i just a romantic aromantic?

I romanticize everything: my new lime green flip flops, the beads of water pooling around the blue soda can, a nap on a stranger’s couch, the ripple of friendship which surfs on from one continent to another via FaceTime. Past relationships, breakups, jelly filled donuts, tulle, my dog. You name it, I can love it. I know I’m not the only one as I see discourse after video essay after meme about this romanticizing of life we have been doing.

However, beyond a main-character-lens reframing of my daily cup of coffee, I realized my life has never been as full of love and connection as it has been in the past two years. I feel lonely rarely. My platonic connections are more fulfilling, and often more challenging and rewarding than any New Romantic Relationship™️. Very little of me (if any tbh, but I’m still figuring that out) is drawn to seeking/keeping/maintaining a New Romantic Relationship™️.

Kelly asked, Who benefits when we infantilize those of us who have invested in [platonic relationships], but not [romantic ones]? I’ve realized that in an attempt to prevent that infantilization from reaching me I have forced myself to either enter New Romantic Relationships™️ that I didn’t want and use their status as a shield OR to give a series of excuses and cliches to JUSTIFY not pursuing one (both to others and myself).

Here is the hall of fame of Reasons I’ve given for not wanting a New Romantic Relationship™️ :

  • “I’m married to my job”

  • “I’m still not over my ex”

  • “I’m focusing on my mental health”

  • “I’m grieving”

  • “I don‘t know if i like men”

  • “I don’t know if I like women”

  • “I don’t know if I like sex”

    (All uttered in the past year)

One of my mom’s favorite anecdotes about me is how I (at 8 years old) used to say I wanted to marry a pilot because I had read some statistic somewhere about how airline pilots are only home for 100 days a year and how I would therefore have so much more time to spend with my friends.

Spoiler alert, I like sex (with both men and women and people of all genders), I’d just rather hang out with my friends (and maybe even sleep with them) than have a Romantic Relationship™️.

And like…

Anyway, it’s all just things I’ve been thinking about…

Here’s a poem


This is not a thrill

Parasocial polycule 
Leaving 
Slug trails glitter 
On your face 
Tears open sea 
Bound to non pornographic
Friend watching waves away
From shore not 
Drowning for 
Once 

There were jellyfish  

 🪼 🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼

I love my friends, not as filler, fully. Thank you for reading.

L


Also

🩷

This is not a drill!

CALLING ALL (Amsterdam based) HOT & GAY & TORTURED POETS!!! Poetry Trapper Keeper has partnered with Unwanted Words to bring you the Unwanted Words x Poetry Trapper Keeper "Tortured Poets Department" Mic and Listening Party! Hosted at Lola Lieven on 19 April from 19-22h.

We will be selecting 13 poets to join us on stage! Submissions open through the form (link in bio!). The form will be open until end of day on 1 April.

For more information please look at the form!

Sign up here

***THIS EVENT IS IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM ASSOCIATED WITH, ENDORSED BY, PROMOTED BY, OR AFFILIATED WITH TAYLOR SWIFT, HER RECORD COMPANY UNIVERSAL MUSIC AND/OR ANY OTHER PARTY ASSOCIATED WITH SWIFT. THIS IS AN INDEPENDENT FAN EVENT.***

Also

We were interviewed by Yessica Klein for That Poetry Thing! We talk desks, snacks, poetry, and frozen pizza, and of course, FRIENDSHIP! Go read it!

Brendan McHugh's avatar
Cecilia Gigliotti's avatar
Poetry Trapper Keeper's avatar
Larissa Fantini's avatar
JR's avatar
8 Likes
8

Share this post

Poetry Trapper Keeper
Poetry Trapper Keeper
This is not a thrill
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
Share

Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Van Gogh never had to worry about getting his iPhone 7 stolen while painting en plein air, but I do.👩‍🎨
would you care if I died? (asking for a friend)
May 3, 2023 • 
Poetry Trapper Keeper
24

Share this post

Poetry Trapper Keeper
Poetry Trapper Keeper
Van Gogh never had to worry about getting his iPhone 7 stolen while painting en plein air, but I do.👩‍🎨
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
6
Why we need to talk about the myth of Western goodness
By Tania
Oct 18, 2024 • 
Poetry Trapper Keeper
 and 
Tania
15

Share this post

Poetry Trapper Keeper
Poetry Trapper Keeper
Why we need to talk about the myth of Western goodness
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
I don’t believe in romance
but I do believe in quantum entanglement 🧬
Apr 3, 2024 • 
Poetry Trapper Keeper
 and 
Kelly Mullins
14

Share this post

Poetry Trapper Keeper
Poetry Trapper Keeper
I don’t believe in romance
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
1

Ready for more?

© 2025 Poetry Trapper Keeper
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share

Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More

Create your profile

User's avatar

Only paid subscribers can comment on this post

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in

Check your email

For your security, we need to re-authenticate you.

Click the link we sent to , or click here to sign in.