The reality of growing up online
The reality of growing up online
By Cathelijne de Man
Hello Hot Poets!!! Today we are so happy to share with you the first poem selected from our poetry open call, The reality of growing up online by ultra-talented Cathelijne de Man.
Cathelijne has been a long time supporter of our work and we have had some lovely email exchanges over the past few years. She has always been so sweet and supportive of our endeavors and we were so thrilled to realize, after selecting this piece for publication, that she would now be featured on PTK!
We chose Cathelijne’s piece to start this cycle of features for a few reasons. Firstly, her work is the perfect fit for our trapper keeper, bringing in a perfect mix of post-internet brain-rot, girlhood melancholy, and acidic irony. It reminded us of this early PTK piece, but if it took fucking with format to a level 10. This was a nightmare to make fit on Substack (petition for Substack to allow for more customization pls??? so we hope you can read it alright) but an ABSOLUTE DREAM to publish!
Thank you so much Cathelijne for your words, always! What a great pleasure!
The reality of growing up online
1.
- how are you?
My armor is up, I do not know how to put it down I’ve been at it for ages Trying to keep up with the crown
- great! wbu?
typing …
Checking my socials to release some pheromones Happy for a minute Playing x on stereo Vibing to the music Texting with a friend
- good ☺️
- wanna hang?
- can’t, sorry…
Life is worth living if you’re made to be a success. A billion followers a trizillion lies Fake butt, fake nose, ex wife Life is worth living if you’re living the lie
@Asssucker209 liked your picture
@Asssucker209 commented: ❤️🔥
24/7 productive being Kitchen full of plates Laundry basket fully stacked 343 unread emails One full day in bed
-
2 missed phone calls
- you ok?
Missed the morning class Tomorrow is the deadline Might as well fake
typing…
Your anxiety is lying to you
*thinking positive thoughts* while slowly crawling out of bed
- I’m good, was tired that’s all ☺️
It will be fun they said, Do they know there is no break from student life these days? Getting excited about the future while not having one. That’s studying in the year 2021.
2.
cut some bangs while crying at night fighting w/ myself is normal, right?
https://www.thecut.com/2012/08/how-to-trim-bangs-at- home-without-screwing-up.html
Am I wrong for struggling with mental health While being in my 20s, I still feel like a child
* Downloads TikTok*
Dive into the void
Today is another day where real life can be ignored.
-
https://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Life
Define what a life is to you. Am I living or is it you? Did you see me or do you just want people to see you? Not enough, Gay or straight Bi as In Biased.
❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜
3.
Doing 2170 things at once Time is money Money is time We are waisting time with even more time Overcrowded calendars with crammed hours Agreements that are impossible to keep & After I sold my soul on onlyfans.com I still cannot pay my rent We consume other artists, and they become part of us—flesh and bone—only to be spewed out again in our own works.
https://lithub.com/my-louise-bourgeois/
Playing ‘White Noise 3 hour long’
typing ….
ORDER X09 has been cancelled
In the end my soul is a keeper,
we even share a phone history
11.657 pictures and counting
Why am I,
on overload?
&
While we fight, ignite,
Struggle with the daily life
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We are perfectly Broken, Perfectly free cause Perfection is a goal not meant to be completed And while life is messy, my room is even messier.
About the hot poet -
Cathelijne de Man (2001) is a multi-passionate maker. From a young age, she could always be found with a pen, pencil or paintbrush in her hand, inspired by her grandfather's paintings. For Cathelijne, the creative process is an outlet. Not making for the sake of making, but making because there is something inside that needs to get out. At the moment she is mainly focused on painting, writing and needlework.
<3 thank you for being here! Come by next week for another poem by another hot poet!
Xoxo
PTK