[PARA]SUICIDE by Brandi Bird
fuckgirl automaton...
Hello PTKers. We’re back with a bang. The inimitable Brandi Bird has graced us with a fresh poem as part of their PTK takeover in honour of their brand-new book (hot off the presses as of yesterday), Pitiful (House of Anansi, 2026).
Also, check out and submit to our contest, judged by Zahra Mayeesha. This contest is an excellent opportunities for early-career writers to get their names and words out there. We’d love to read your work!
That’s all for now.
Without further ado, enjoy this firecracker from BB.
Love,
S
[PARA]SUICIDE by Brandi Bird Man is nothing else but what he makes of himself —Jean-Paul Sartre borderline fuckgirl automaton fixed belief throbbing false against white cardstock cradled hanging hanged from blue lanyards pulse point beats Forever21 morse code polka dot eeeeeeeeeeeeeee- eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee over fuckgirl’s sweaty forehead & her hair is in mats strands stuck between swollen gums their pallor their shift red then bloody sanctuary sit quiet for a while & beg to stay ask fluorescent lights pathetic questions all metallic in fuckgirl’s mouth just a touch too much too loud for staff the rod the shaft & fuckgirl gossips in pale rooms talks woodland paintings bright bird gossip chirps paint babble & fuckgirl googles real morrisseau because did they check did they validate the signature hospital art dealer hospital curator did they authenticate or did they just take what they could get fuckgirl walks precise outlines & stretches like ribbon candy not serious not really she is sheer she is a cellophane gallow the romance the gesture the iterative practice of fantasy where fuckgirl is beautiful & suffering & so talented & remarkably intelligent & most importantly she is attractive & so so lovely so loved by everyone & even strangers weep when she swallows all the white pills inside their orange transparencies their bottles empty emptying down her wet pink throat & no no one would look inside her mouth & no no one would grip her jaw so fine & so frail so faint & growing fainter & so so brave but fuckgirl closure can’t go home but can’t stay here fuckgirl doe or stag fuckgirl countdown no nurse watches that closely no true danger reject danger & fuckgirl still pretends to read an anthology of existential philosophy after post up blue gown hallway stretcher no risk analysis no live current no electric shock just glitched out flash malfunction ERROR ERROR & nothing else but sent home stable sent home no voucher no bus ticket just one prepaid cellphone in left breast pocket check it’s there over & over what she makes of herself normal sinus rhythm over normal fuckgirl inhalation her tachycardia her inhale miss you’re causing a scene you’re causing a scene miss miss you’re causing a scene