oat milk

By Johanna Dörrie

Hello lactose intolerants (and queers)! How are you? Following up Maggie’s sweet young adulthood poem from last week, we are so happy to bring you this also sweet and reflective slice of domestic consideration by Johanna! What a great dairy-free addition to our trapper keeper!

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oat milk

I am sorry
I can’t empty the oat milk
no longer use up
what I have started
oat milk in the fridge
that is only there
because I like it
because you know I only drink that one
the spread I like
because you know
that
because you know
how to make me feel at home here
because you do everything
for me to be safe
for me to want to come back

and now I'm leaving again
you're dropping me off again
away
somewhere else
where I live and live and live
and I will miss you so much
I will miss everything about you so much
your hair your scent
your look
when you tease me and tease me
and tell me I’m just kidding, I love you
I miss the way you squeeze me
and don’t let go until
I do it first
and how you're honest
and being my biggest role model
and your warmth
that you radiate
and your laugh
and I don't want to leave
mom
I need you
mom
you are all I need
I love you so much
I'm sorry
that I keep leaving
even though you are what gives me
the feeling of home
the most

because somewhere in between the deadly silence of a teenage girl at
dinner
and between calling the doctor myself
and taking care of everything myself
things you used to do
somewhere in between
I understood
that you are also living for the first time

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About the hot poet: Johanna (she/her) is a german writer trying to encapsulate the experience of being human and being humans in a collective world, searching for beauty in chaos through accumulations of words.

ig: johannadoer

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Than you so much Johanna! Your piece is so beautiful. I will be honest, it’s been quite difficult to keep this project going amidst the world. Difficult to digest and process the escalation of violence we are being witnesses to. Difficult to comprehend how we live through it, despite it, because of it. Difficult to be and write and talk and I feel like I ran out of words. Which is why I’m genuinely so grateful for Johanna and all other Hot Poets we’ve been featuring here. Thank you for sharing the feelings and words, thank you for keeping the light on for this community. We love you, we love your bravery. Please keep fighting the good fight.

In an effort to keep sharing words which move us, tune in on Friday for a special guest post by our dearest Tania Shoukair.

Continue to use your voices and words. “Rage, rage, rage” as a better poet would say. Thank you for being here,

Larissa from PTK