blood to beloved

RE: "pain theory" by savannah brown

“The story of the masochist’s daughter only ever had one ending” writes Savannah Brown in her poem Pain Theory. I’m a little obsessed with writing masochism, as you can probably tell if you’ve followed my poetry for any amount of time, and especially if you’ve read my book. As November gets colder and I still refuse to wear a jacket (duh), I’ve been writing out my reasoning and ruining my sleep schedule. As above, so below:

blood to beloved

i have the disease where a crush is a curse

where in my sleep my bones fall out

in dream science, this means progress

once,
i loved you so much that the rest of my life
turned to salt

the spellings of words changed

devour
to deflower, divot
to devote

i lived
through suffocation

i was looking for ways
to give up power

though i thought
i was no longer open
to torture

cinching my pants with your belt
that in your hands would craft a perfect heartbeat
on my

anyway

still it seems
i am a glutton, & punishment
is what’s there to be had

PROMPT: be a glutton, why don’t you?

P.S. BTW, I’m in Best Canadian Stories! The launch was last night. Here’s what the anthology looks like (photo by Frances Peck):

Me otw to the reading (photo by meeee):

I drank sparkling juice and blushed a lot and hugged my friends and yeah it was awesome!! Okay that’s all!! B4n my loves!

-Soph