18 Signs You’re Dating a Stage Five Clinger 💄

close contact is a time machine

I’m writing this, belly down, from my yoga mat after attempting to dance out my seasonal depression to the Jingle Bell Rock scene in Mean Girls (kind of worked) and do a post-meditation (didn’t work). Mainly because I’m contemplating how,

I’ve increasingly not felt like celebrating the holidays this year. 🙅‍♀️🎄

I guess it started back on King’s Day, where I already was like, fuck the monarchy but maybe I don’t mind getting drunk on the streets?? But then I found out that this day was basically scheduled as a way to suppress International Workers Day on May 1st and I was like, no thank you. Then we had Pride, which just felt increasingly pinkwashed - especially juxtaposed with the collective joy and protest of the “by queers, for queers” organizing that happened this year during Amsterdam Queer Pride. And now we’re all feeling helpless, watching a genocide escalate on our phones, as we’re asked to attend office Christmas parties and family gatherings with smiles on our faces. And I can’t help but think,

It’s almost as if these very forced and inflexible forms of celebration aren’t working for us anymore??? 💡💡

But then, at least what I find is… I get caught in this loop where it doesn’t feel right to celebrate these holidays, so I start to remove myself from them, which leads to social isolation, which leads to lethargy, which leads to lack of motivation, which leads to not having any energy to co-create new cultural rituals that would allow us to grieve, mourn, support and celebrate each other in ways that are applicable to the ever-changing present.

It kind of reminds me of this quote from one of my favorite David Graeber books, where he highlights how,

“All we’re left with as an alternative to our mundane lives are our ‘national holidays’.”

“The Dawn of Everything: A New History of Humanity” by David Graeber and David Wengrow (page 120)

And I’m wondering, from the depths of my dark Amsterdam apartment, how can we start to remove ourselves from these “celebrations” rooted in colonial violence, overconsumption, and late-stage capitalism without completely isolating ourselves on the other end? How do we continue to talk about and organize around the persistent horrors while also keeping space for moments of regular collective grief, joy, connection, and silliness - even if those moments need to be small for now?

I don’t know. But we might need to look at some erased indigenous and working class history (again, thanks David Graeber) to understand that…

“The really powerful ritual moments are those of collective chaos, effervescence, liminality, or creative play, out of which new social forms can come into the world.”

“The Dawn of Everything: A New History of Humanity” by David Graeber and David Wengrow (page 117)

So, can we normalize our grief by ritually crying in the streets at 8 pm every night? Almost like when we clapped for the healthcare workers during Covid? Do we have a recurring “only bring your shit poetry” circle where write, perform, and laugh together? Do we meet up weekly and do table reads of Real Housewives scripts?? Like,

What do we think ritual moments of collective chaos could look like today?? ⚡⚡

I’m not entirely sure, but I do think a small example of this is the “Tiny Poem Tuesday” we’ve been running from our instagram, where we all take two seconds out of our day to contribute a line of poetry to a collectively-written piece. What I love about this exercise is that it holds space (albeit, a very small one) for our real-time collective grief, hope, absurdity and celebration. Here’s how last week’s piece turned out:

Collectively written “Tiny Poem Tuesday” piece from our PTK instagram

Anyway, this is a piece about touch starvation and isolation, constructed from the last lines of Larissa’s stanzas in her “Stage 5 Clinger” poem…

---

18 Signs You’re Dating a Stage Five Clinger 💄

close 
contact
is a 
time machine
take out your 
feet 
gently
making
ever 
hatched  
your sky 
is constantly 
a must 
now saved 
your number
on skin 
contactfully, 
yours 

---

And we’ll leave you with a reminder - this Trapper Keeper is yours too. 👛👛 

Larissa and I started our 🌟 2024 PTK Vibes and Manifestations🌟 and, aside from getting anyone from Boygenius to acknowledge us in any form whatsoever, we also want to continue to figure out how we can turn PTK into a vessel for collective poetry writing, publishing, performance, and friendship-building rituals.

How do you think we can introduce more forms of chaotic, collective ritual - either in person or online, for poets and non poets alike in 2024??

Love you, byeeee!!