⭐ FORWARD THIS EMAIL OR DIE IN 7 DAYS!!! ⭐
~ our first poem ~
How to lose a guy that lives in your head & feeds your internalized misogyny in 10 days
by Larissa Fantini
Realize you’re not like other girls because you cut out a picture of Ai Weiwei smashing a Ming vase from Time Magazine and it was the only thing you had pinned to your yellow wallpaper while other girls have discussions about whether they are Team Jacob Or Team Edward (and you do too, but in your head and no one must know). Pick a team, enjoy the renaissance.
Tell your therapist or a friend about how you only wore pink until age 10 and then you began a hate campaign against all things feminine and Girly and deprived yourself of the World’s Best Color, settling instead for its absent father Figure: Red.
Forgive yourself for the fact that you kissed your best friend because that guy with a guitar dressed as Hugh Hefner at that Halloween party said it would be hot. Forgive yourself for liking it. Forgive yourself for feeling embarrassed when a few days later you asked if she would like to do it again away from the male gaze and she laughed and asked if you were a dyke.
Make amends. Apologize for every eye roll directed at a group of tweens gushing about One Direction.
Join the cult of Elle Woods. Admit that it's your favorite movie. Call it a film in front of your pretentious friend who is studying at UCLA.
Reexamine your issues with women. They are not your competition, even if a certain boy you liked when you were in the sixth grade explicitly told you that you and the other girl he was interested him had to “impress him” and then she automatically became your enemy and you never spoke again despite the fact that before this you would play The Sims together everyday and in the game you had a family with many kids and would joyously remove the toilet and the fridge and giggle as their little digital bodies starved.
Reexamine your issues with men. Your dad wanted a son, no amount of pretending to enjoy Star Wars and fishing is gonna change the fact that he got a chaotic mentally ill femme kid. Fishing is gross. Stop entering relationships with men who call their ex girlfriends crazy. Stop needing these men’s approval.
Detangle your notions of femininity from your own self hatred.
Realize that you are now an enlightened being, and therefore, not like other girls.
Return to Day 1.
See you next week 😘 ✌️